i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
