We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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