If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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