Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
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