Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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