I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
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