I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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