Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
