dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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