windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
