i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
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Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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