How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
