the new term for farting is butt boxing.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
