Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Randomize
