Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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