No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
