What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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