I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
