I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
