The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
We named our party play list daddy issues
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
