Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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