I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
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