Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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