Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize
