He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
