i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
