Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
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