So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
