How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
