Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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