We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
