More tranny stories later!
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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