What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
