sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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