their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
