I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
