I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
