I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
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