Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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