it wasn't lemon gatorade
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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