Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
