Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
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