i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
