Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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