Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
it wasn't lemon gatorade
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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