On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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