You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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