just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
