Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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