If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Randomize
