is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
being pregnant is like rehab
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
