What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
