he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize
