who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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