Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
