i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
