I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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