I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Randomize
