The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Randomize
