Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
