We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
