I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
