Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
