eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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